**As a belated 2015 New Years Resolution, I decided I would write a daily (or, almost daily, I know some days I just won’t be able to find the time) blog answering a thought provoking question from a long list of questions I found here in a quest of self exploration.
Today’s Chosen Question :
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
This is an age-old question that would make anybody blink a few times and sigh in slight exasperation. I really like to think of myself as a person who doesn’t worry too much about how I am judged, and I try to live my life to my standards and no one else’s. We get one life (as far as I know for now) and you might as well live a unique one. I have done things that might seem weird or humiliating to people obsessed with what others think (including but not limited to ending up on American Idol wearing a ridiculous dress and holding a stuffed animal just to prove a point to a friend one time, or doing a comedy act with my best friend at a talent show and making complete asses out of ourselves, and loving every minute of it) but to me, these things were hilarious as they were happening, and they are hilarious to look back on now because I was goofing around and having fun. The key to having a life where you minimally worry about others judgement is to just have as much fun as you can. Never pass up an opportunity to be a goofball.
But I use the word minimally because everyone, no matter how hard you try, has at least a tiny whisper in the back of their minds that does worry about what other people think. I don’t so much worry about the silly stuff (not at all, actually) but what I struggle with is when people view me negatively based on incorrect assumptions made about me or false information being spread about me. What I know logically is that it doesn’t matter in the least bit if some person I don’t like thinks badly of me because honestly, if I don’t like them, why would I want them to like me? I think if a person I did not approve of liked me, it would actually say something negative about me. But the emotional side of yourself doesn’t always listen to the logical side. So back to the actual question… what would I do differently? The only answer I can honestly give is that I would spend less time being irritated/angry at other people for the BS hypocritical way they talk about me at times because I just wouldn’t give a shit, at all.
But to be fair I have come a long way from the whole angry-thing. I still have days or even just moments where I wish someone who is a complete jackass to me would faint while walking and fall face first into a puddle, but when I feel myself starting to go down that dark path, I try to distract myself by doing something positive, saying something nice to a stranger, calling my friends, taking my dog on a walk, etc. Distracting yourself by focusing on the positive helps me through those moments so that the anger doesn’t linger like that unwanted guest that just won’t leave your damn house no matter how many subtle and then not so subtle hints you drop. Plus … lets face it, the best way to piss off someone who is a jackass to you is to be genuinely happy and live a fulfilling life. 😉 But..yeah.. thats the only thing that would really be different because I already try not to focus at all on what others think when I decide how to live my life.
Kell Frillman - Author 