**As a belated 2015 New Years Resolution, I decided I would write a daily (or, almost daily, I know some days I just won’t be able to find the time) blog answering a thought provoking question from a long list of questions I found here in a quest of self exploration.
Today’s Chosen Question :
If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow this person to be your friend?
Especially in the kind of society we live in, this is SUCH an important question to ask yourself every single day. Most of us look in the mirror as we get ready for the day and find at least one thing about ourselves we don’t like (and lets face it, one thing is usually tons of things.) “Ugh, I’m fat.” “Goddamnit why cant my skin stop breaking out?” “I HATE my nose.” “My eyebrows are horrible.” And on, and on, and on. But really, if someone spoke to you with the same tone and judgement as those inner voices … would you be friends with that person? I would be shocked if anyone would answer that question with YES. The reaction most of us would have is “You know what? You’re a fucking DICK its not like you’re perfect yourself, you know!” No one enjoys friends that put you down or go out of their way to point out what you already view as your flaws. There is so much merit to the phrase treat others how you want to be treated but we often forget to treat ourselves the way we want others to treat us. The major problem with that is when we treat ourselves with judgement and negativity, we are that much more willing to accept others treating us with judgement and negativity. On the flip side, if we are kinder and more accepting of ourselves, thats the kind of people we will accept in our lives as well and we will be less tolerant of others putting us down. Loving yourself really is the key to being loved by others, its such a cliche thing to say but when you step back and really assess what it means, its cliche because it holds so much truth. Self-acceptance and self-love are not easy to achieve because we live in a society that wants us to hate ourselves. The self-hatred they provoke is the for the most ridiculous reasons ever; so we will buy products and services we think we need to be better. I have found the key to the road of self-acceptance is just embracing who you are and where your truest roots are. Do not try to force yourself into a place you don’t fit, embrace the place that you DO fit. Its amazing what you see and realize and refuse to tolerate once you understand your own value.
Kell Frillman - Author 