Dailyblog : Happy and Simple or Smart and Conflicted

I did this for a while and then I basically left it on the back burner, but I want to get back to it. “It” being answering one question daily from this list.

Today’s Question : Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

I have literally thought about this every single day since I was a small child. Conflicted is my middle name, plagued with pain over things I wish I didn’t know or comprehend, hyper aware of the ugliness people are capable of and unfortunately sometimes tangled up in a lot of it. Countless times I’ve said/thought to myself, “I wish I was ignorant, or stupid. I wish I took anything at all at face value because those who don’t think nearly as much as I do seem so much happier.”

With that said, on the other end of the spectrum, if I thought less, if I put less effort into forming my opinions, values, stances, etc – I wouldn’t be me. Literally. At all. The one thing I can say about all of the painstaking effort of endless need to question everything is that when I do arrive at a conclusion about something, I feel very sure-footed about it because I know I’ve examined things from every angle that I possibly could, I’ve tried putting myself in various different shoes, and I feel that my conclusion is thoughtful and educated to the best of my ability.

My quick answer to this question would be “I wish I was far less thoughtful so I could live a more ‘la-tee-da’ life” but when I put on my serious-pants, I’m the best “me” I can be, and I wouldn’t have the passion to stand behind my beliefs and convictions if I was less-than.

I think there’s a price to pay for everything. You can be “simple and happy” but then you’re not really aware of everything around you, or you choose to not get involved in anything that could turn into conflict and you’re not doing much good in the world, just living in your own bubble. I get why people would choose that and I don’t judge them for it (part of me envies them) but I have to stand up for causes I believe in and I have to be true to myself no matter what. Sometimes it does lead to a lot of frustration and even pain and heartache, but again – I wouldn’t be me if I approached life any other way.

 

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