DailyBlog : Falling In Love VS Being In Love

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For the sake of blogging and self-exploration and contemplation, I answer a question a day off of this list.

Today’s question : What is the difference between falling in love and being in love?

I’m going to be straight, I have a very cynical opinion of “being in love”. Classic “cue the violins” story I guess, I was 22, madly in love, engaged, and the relationship crashed and burned and I found out my ex-fiance was a liar and a coward. Perhaps some people can find love again, yadda-yadda, but I’m not a resilient person and the few attempts I’ve made to move on with different relationships just weren’t going for the gold. Years later I’m happily single, self-sufficient in every way and frankly unwilling to derail my nice cozy life to “risk it all” again.

I think any type of phrasing involving “falling” or “being” in love is frankly, not enough to sustain a lasting relationship ever because I associating falling/being in love as this euphoric “I need you” soulful attachment to someone. Now just plain-old LOVING someone, that’s a whole different ballgame. People change as time goes on. The initial romance and wonder of falling/being in love can and often does fade away. But if you love someone unconditionally, beyond the romance and the neediness the way you love a best friend or family member (okay maybe not a family member..because.. but you know what I mean) then you might be able to have a lasting relationship.

So rather than contemplate the different between being and falling in love with someone, which I don’t think HAS a difference, I just went with the difference of being in love, and just plain old loving someone. In my opinion those are the differences that make or break the lasting-power of a relationship. I do think my ex was in love with me as I was with him, but he didn’t love me beyond that. If he had, things would have turned out differently. Ce la vie.

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