DailyBlog : Knowing Your Time of Death

** The first two books in my six part dystopian series have officially made their way out into the world! Check them out!
For the sake of blogging and self-exploration and contemplation, I’ve been slowly making my way through answering questions from this list

Today’s Question : If someone could tell you the exact day and time you are going to die, would you want them to tell you?

This is a simple question for me,
I have always had this inexplicable notion that I’m going to die of cancer in my 50’s. Yes, cancer runs in my family, but other than that, I have no “proof” of this supposed knowledge, I just don’t think I’m meant to live a LONG life. Which is completely okay with me.

Truth be told, aging terrifies me. My biggest fear and trigger is feeling like I can’t control what is happening in my life, stemming from childhood traumas and blah-blah-blah. I visit the elderly with my dogs twice a month, but if I’m being completely honest, the loss of control that aging brings some people is petrifying to me and I don’t think I could handle that happening to me, I’d rather be dead.

I’d actually take some comfort in knowing when I’m going to die because I would feel better knowing I could plan accordingly, do everything I wanted to do, get my affairs in order, but also have a solid plan in place leading up to that date/time. I don’t fear death – I semi-fear the PAIN of death but I don’t fear death itself so it wouldn’t be frightening for me to know. It would actually be comforting.

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