** The first three books in my six-part dystopian series have officially made their way out into the world! Check them out!
For the sake of blogging, self-exploration, and contemplation, I’ve been slowly making my way through answering questions from this list
Today’s Question: Who is the strongest person you know?
This is a difficult question! I don’t consider myself a very strong person… I feel things deeply, so when I get hurt, I bleed for days, weeks, months, sometimes even years. Correction, I don’t think that’s the right word. “Strong.” I think the word I relate to myself is “resilient.” I’m not very resilient. I’m not a fast healer. When you overcome trauma people love to tell you how ‘strong’ you are, but what does that even mean? Are you stronger if you can ‘bounce back’ from trauma quicker than someone else can? There are people who have been through things that I can’t even fathom, but I know that I’ve been through things that other people can’t really imagine, either. Everyone’s journey and experience in life is so unique that it’s unfair to compare.
Let’s not deviate too much, here… back to the question. The strongest person that I know? Honestly, I don’t know. When I think of particularly strong people, I think of people who not only overcome trauma, but who truly thrive in the face of it. People like Jaycee Dugard who seems to be doing remarkably well after eighteen years of captivity and being raped repeatedly by her captor since the age of eleven. I can’t even fathom what she went through, but she has really focused on healing and experiencing life and she seems to be doing great. But I don’t know Jaycee personally, I only know what she’s chosen to share with the public about what she’s been through and how she is coping.
I hoped that if I just put my fingers to the keyboard and started typing, an answer would come to me, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. I suppose it’s because I don’t really think the word ‘strong’ is fair or fitting to anyone in any situation. Implying someone is strong is also implying that someone / others are not… or, logically, the word opposite of strong, is weak. Calling someone weak is not fair. That’s not for us to perceive of judge. Literally everyone is on their own journey. The only even remotely fair word is maybe, resilient… some people have more natural resiliency than others, but that doesn’t mean they are WEAK. It just means that it takes them longer to sort things out, and that’s okay. It means they feel things deeply, and that their thoughts are heavy and introspective. Everything balances out… I may not be resilient, but in being an empath, I see and feel so much of the world around me, and it gives me the passion that I need to try and make a difference. It’s hard for me to cope with painful times, but when I feel joy, I feel it just as deeply as I feel pain. I consider that to be a gift.
Resilient or not, appreciate yourself for who you are, and appreciate everyone you know for who they are. If they’re struggling, simply offer your support and let them work things out at their own, unique pace. Do not judge others for what they’re going through or how fast or slow their healing may seem to you. Let’s stop scaling people based on our perception of their personal experiences and coping skills. Let’s just… support one another?
This went in a different direction, but in my opinion, a warranted one. Definitely something to think about!
Kell Frillman - Author 