DailyBlog: What motivates me to be my best?

*** The first three books in my six-part dystopian series have officially made their way out into the world! Check them out!
For the sake of blogging, self-exploration, and contemplation, I’ve been slowly making my way through answering questions from this list

Today’s Question: What motivates you to be your best?

I know that I repeat this like a broken record in response to so many questions, but honestly, what motivates me to “be my best” is that I don’t ever want to treat others the way that others have treated me. I don’t want to be a negative influence or a bad memory that someone else has to overcome. When I think of the things that other people have said and/or done that have offended me, upset me, or just seem selfish, the times that I’ve been betrayed, or when people have completely dismissed the fact that I’m a human being with feelings, or any other negative reaction that I feel as a result — whenever the opportunity presents itself, I think about what they did, and I do the opposite. I accept that not everyone is going to like me no matter what I do, as there are some people that I simply do not like to the very core of their existence, but I’d really like to be a person that others can trust and rely on. I’d like to be the person that, when I have the opportunity to kick them when they’re down or to show compassion instead, I choose compassion. Every time that I am angry and tempted to say something snarky or unkind, I think of how I have felt when others have done that to me and I’m extra-motivated to choose the opposite path.

This is also a broken record, but I always feel like when I write about others treating me horribly in the past, I can’t end my prose without also acknowledging that I also have wonderful people in my life now who treat me with the same kindness and compassion that I want to show to others. For a long while, I literally felt like literally everyone was basically a sociopath; they didn’t give a crap who they had to hurt in order to achieve their own personal desires. I’m grateful for the day that I sat around in my room feeling utterly lost and alone and said to myself, “This isn’t the life I want. This isn’t the world that I want to live in.” That day was life-changing for me. That day woke me up. That day helped me change.

The negative people in my past motivate me to never want to be like them, and the positive people in my present help to remind me every day that there ARE kind and compassionate people in this world, and I want to be as kind to them as they are to me. I know that I’ve made mistakes in the past and I’m sure that I’ll make more mistakes in the future, but I am honestly trying my best. When I do hurt someone, its never intentional and I will ALWAYS hold myself accountable and make sure that they know how sorry I am. I will never let anyone believe that I don’t care.

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