DailyBlog: What Do I Want Most In This Moment?

*** The first three books in my six-part dystopian series have officially made their way out into the world! Check them out!
For the sake of blogging, self-exploration, and contemplation, I’ve been slowly making my way through answering questions from this list

Today’s Question: Right now, at this moment, what do you want most?

I’m actually feeling quite down and disappointed right now because I had this amazing opportunity that I was really looking forward to, but due to current circumstances completely out of my control and having nothing directly to do with me, its not going to work out. So what do I want most? I want all of the issues that have inadvertently caused me to miss out on this opportunity to just be done and over with. So many people are really exhausted from dealing with this issue, myself included. I feel guilty for feeling so down right now because my life really is quite good, but this opportunity would have really put the final puzzle piece into place of achieving my childhood dreams and I feel like life kind of dangled it in front of me and then snatched it away.

I feel like I shouldn’t be this upset, but at the same time, I despise anyone who has the nerve to invalidate my feelings, so why am I doing that to myself?

I’m tired of life and people being so complicated. I just want life to be simple. I want people to just be kind to one another on a consistent basis.

I also haven’t gotten to take a vacation of any type since before COVID, and I feel like maybe I’m just in a rut and that’s why I’m feeling like this right now. Life may be good in general, but I feel like I often need change to “reinvigorate” me, if that makes any sense.

Sigh. I just want to feel less tired than I do right now, and I don’t want to feel guilty for feeling down when I know that there is so much good in my life. I’ve certainly been in WAY worse positions.


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