Game of Thrones Finale – SUCK IT. (My Review of the end.)

Warning: This is a rant-blog about the last two episodes of “Game of Thrones” and it DOES contain “spoilers.” Also, as the Internet is the Internet, my opinions, interpretations, and observations are not up for unfriendly debate. I’m here to rant on my own platform, not argue with faceless strangers.

Now that all of that is out of the way –

WHY AM I RAGING?

Let’s start with Cersei and Jaime. We opened the series finale with them screwing (brother and sister, twins at that) and ten-year-old Bran accidentally witnessing their liaisons. Jaime tosses him out of a window, intending to kill him, but instead Bran eventually wakes from his coma paralyzed from the waist down. I’ll be honest, except for my love for Hodor, I never really cared much about Bran. Let me clarify, his character arch was important to the story, but I never had a personal fondness for him. I didn’t dislike him, but I wasn’t very invested in his fate. I suppose that’s why I really rolled my eyes when the throne went to him.

Jaime had a very intriguing character arch. He started the series as an arrogant fuckboy, but he went through a lot, and actually redeemed himself in my eyes. I loved the progression between him and Brienne. I cheered so hard when he Knighted her, and even more when he slept with her. My heart ached a bit when he left her alone and crying after that speech about how he had to return to Cersei, but I also thought to myself, you know, it’s right. It’s poetic. It made sense to me because I assumed that he was going to end up killing her. That would have been a poetic end. Although I’m sad that Brienne will never again see Jaime, I felt that Jaime killing Cersei, and then even killing himself, would have been a poetic end which would have really tied up their twisted-together fates, honored Jaime’s character progression, and Cersei’s death would have been satisfying in both the I-hate-her way, and in the way that “they came into this world together, they should go out together, as well.” I feel that would have been a fitting destiny for how he left Brienne as well, that when he told her that he had to leave because he was too tied in with Cersei, you’d see that he knew that he had to end her. It would’ve been the PERFECT arc for ALL of their characters and storylines. C’MON, MAN! Yeah, they went out together, but only because a building crumbled around them. I felt that was incredibly anticlimactic, especially because so many other characters could have been fulfilled by her dying at their hands (most justified, would have been Jaime.) All of that mess was a huge eye-roll for me for all of those reasons.

But let’s talk about MUH GRL, Dany. This has always been a character so near and dear to my heart for so many reasons. Emilia Clark’s acting has always been flawless. Although the character started off younger in the books, I could not have cast the character more accurately if I had the actual opportunity to do so.
What are some of the main things that we know about the Targaryen line?
1. They have “dragons blood” in them. (Well, some of them do.)
2. They are inbred, semi-intentionally at that, with the intent to preserve the dragon’s blood as much as possible.
3. Dany’s father was “mad.” (Basically ruthless and insane.)
– Rheagar (Dany’s oldest brother) was NOT “mad.” Despite what we first were told about him, we find out that he was in love with Lyanna Stark, who was in love with him as well. They got married in secret. (He did not rape and kidnap her as the story is initially told.) Lyanna gave birth to their son, Aegon, after the Mad King was overthrown, and as she lay dying, she asked Ned Stark to protect him. So Ned took him home to his family and claimed that he was a bastard child.

“All Targaryens go mad?” Um, no. They don’t. Rheagar wasn’t mad. Viserys wasn’t mad. (Just a shitwad.) Jon Snow (Aegon Targaryen) wasn’t “mad.”

Viserys (Dany’s other brother) basically raised Dany and treated her like shit, he was an abusive little shitwad, telling her that he was the one with dragon’s blood when it was always her all along. (Did he know? I’m not clear on that.) After losing Drogo, and her son, which was devastating for her — Dany found a new purpose. (Her dragons.) They gave her the tools, physically and emotionally, to use what power she had with her namesake to free slaves, to change things, to want to take back the crown for House Targaryen and rule Westeros differently than her ill-fated father. That was always her most focused passion, TO BE THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT HER FATHER WAS. She was a person fully capable of empathy and compassion, and many scenes throughout the years showed that not only was she a complex person, but she could also make difficult decisions when she was forced to. But only when she HAD to. She was compassionate, but still capable of doing what had to be done. The perfect type of person to rule Westeros.

Dany’s arc this season to me was equivalent to being assigned an extremely involved several-thousand-word term paper in college with at least a month to write it, but you’re maybe 48 hours away from the due date, and all you have on the paper is your name. “OH SHIT!” So you scramble and you half-ass and you bullshit and you rush until you have something hastily forced onto the page. It MIGHT have made more sense if it had been FAR less rushed.

Yes, Dany felt betrayed by people that she trusted. Yes, she got some bad tactical advice from her hand(s.) Then there was the blow of finding out Jon Snow, the first person she truly opened up to and loved since Drogo, was in fact, her nephew. (She cared more about his claim to the crown, but that makes sense, since her entire focus has been to come back for the throne.) Targaryens inbreed. That’s not new to Dany. Heck, it’s basically expected. But she has spent years at this point trying to get to Westeros, her focus on the throne at this point is understandable, it’s a notion that comforts her in the face of so many things falling down all around her at once.

Oh HEYY, DANY’S IGNORING THE BELLS AND MURDERING THOUSANDS OF WOMEN AND CHILDREN! After… spending years… trying to free slaves, and to fight oppression, and to NOT be an insane killing machine. Despite the progression of crappy things that happened to her in an incredibly short amount of time, I still didn’t buy it. I felt that it was cheap, convenient writing that was a disservice to everything put into the character for all of these years.

Let me step away for a moment though and address one more piece of this jagged puzzle —  what the hell was Cersei thinking? Cersei is a conniving, intelligent c*nt, but she’s not a fool. What she did with Missandre was 100% FOOLISH and also not in line with her character. Honestly, did the writers just drink way too much alcohol after they ran out of source material to follow? What the hell HAPPENED?!? “LOL COME AT ME BRO~” is not Cersei’s style, it has never been, and she literally taunted Dany with the whole Missandre thing and it was just so ridiculous.

Back to Dany. Okay, she goes “mad” and rages and murders thousands of innocents. (Mkay. Utter shit, but, mkay.) And … THAT’S how they choose to end the love story between her and Jaegon Snowgaryen?

Jon: “Ok, you did what you did, and there’s no takebacksies. I still love you girl, but you cray! I guess I gotta kill you now~”

YET AGAIN, they could have at LEAST had Jon take himself out after he killed her. Honor their love in that tragic and yet poetic way. The last of the Targeryens… how poetic would it be for that damned dragon to cradle them both in his sad arms and fly them both off to Neverland? But NOPE, he goes and kills her and then tralalalas? At least the tragic message would have been, all Targaryens are doomed, and they knew it? And this was how they were destined to be together forever… in death? THEY COULD HAVE AT LEAST  GIVEN US THAT.

But no, they instead opted to cheapen EVERYTHING. Dany may have been forced to marry Drogo at first, but she had truly loved him. She lost him, she lost their son, and she she discovered that she could never have children again. The dragons were her children. She freed slaves. She had a rebound guy (Daario, sex me up!) but it wasn’t until Jon that she truly allowed herself to be vulnerable again, and that was HUGE, and IMPORTANT. And this climax SHAT all over that.

I get it. It’s Game of Thrones. There are no Happy Endings, but they can still honor the characters and the storylines. They can still make tragic ends poetic and true to character, a fitting fulfillment of their destinies. Targaryens are too much for this world? There should be none left, then. I’m looking at YOU, Jaegon Snowgaryen. You’re not fooling anyone with that stupid look on your face. Sit your ass Down.

Can I literally rewrite those last two episodes? Just to fix the asinine choices and mistakes? You know what, screw it. It’s not real. It didn’t happen. I will accept the books (when they arrive someday when I’m old and grey) as cannon, but this crap? It’s bad fan fiction.

PEACE.

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