DailyBlog: What worries me about the future?

*** The first three books in my six-part dystopian series have officially made their way out into the world! Check them out!
For the sake of blogging, self-exploration, and contemplation, I’ve been slowly making my way through answering questions from this list

Today’s Question: What worries you about the future?

My absolute biggest fear ever is to get old and incapable and need ‘help.’ I’ve said many times, “I’m here for a good time, not a long time” and people laugh but … I’m serious. I’ve always had this weird feeling that I wouldn’t live to be extremely aged; I think I’ll die in my fifties, sixties at the latest, and I’m aye-okay with that. I have no desire to prolong my life. Once my body can no longer function in the way that I need it to in order for me to be fully independently capable, I’m done, I’m ready, let’s go. I do not want a “carer.” The thought of being extremely aged and my body dying a very slow death is horrifying to me.

I hope that when I go, I just – go. Eitehr in my sleep, or a heart attack, or something quick. I’m not afraid of death, but I’m afraid of being bed-bound, or needing someone to help me wipe my butt or change my depends. Just – no. I couldn’t cope with that. I want to live as long as I can keep enjoying the things that I enjoy, but if I lose my body, or my mind… I hope that fate will do me a kindness and call the game.

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